I've been putting off this entry as it was written in another notebook and it wasn't available until today..
So, this would be a monologue dedicated to the 'ciggar lady'...
Waking up in the morning to a country view is so much more different as an adult compare to when I was a young child. Adding on to that fact, we all woke up to the morning which definitely turn out to be different than any other morning in our lives, and it would never be the same anymore, so much more different than before.
To that particular morning of October 11th, 2011, even though it seems to be a glory day with the sun shining brightly and reflecting upon the watered padi-field, it would somehow cast a gloomy shade to all the faces especially my dearest cousins as it would be the last morning that we would be giving beloved mother and aunt a ‘visit’ as she had already left us the evening before and we will be sending her off where she will be laid to rest and meet her Creator Allah Almighty. It is such a serene day for me and my family, and I believe she did leave with a serene mind and at peace. I am sure my mom would miss her sister the most as my aunt is the only sister she had!
Reconciling the moment, I think I had a good memory of her when I was a child. It was her place where we used as our hang-out place every time we goes back to our grandmother’s place. I remember back then, I had always wakes up to a good aroma of morning coffee or something being cooked over the traditional charcoal-wood stove or the cigars that my aunt puff-away every time she had her betel. Back then, I would be having such celebrated holidays breakaway enjoying myself with my cousins doing stuff only country kids do and I would seem so aloof compare to the rest, but hey, it was all FUN! It was something that I look forward to every school breaks.
However, that was a good time of yesteryear's. When the rest of my cousins who mostly older than me started getting married and I was in my teens, we get far apart as they were no longer there each time I went home to my grandmother’s place and we no longer share the same interest in life. The FUN was all gone. And my visits have became less and less frequent when I reach my college days and later when start a family on my own.
So, on that particular day, even though I was surround with beautiful panoramic country view before me, I was hit with such melancholy by just looking at it. The thoughts of everything would not be same anymore hit my logic sensuous. So, I tried snapping away some photos, hoping that it would always remains close to my heart. I know, things have change compare to the good old days, and somehow I believe it will continue to change and keeping the memories of today being the last day for my aunt, I hope I will be able to cherish it later as one of the fond memories in my life.